Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Have the Bones of James Cameron Been Found?

LOUISVILLE- During an 11:00 a.m. press conference, Marie Peterson unveiled this picture to awaiting reporters.

"As you can plainly see," says Peterson, "This obviously dates to around 1979 or 1980. The writing on the cup says 'James, son of Phillip.' The burial site not only included this container but several others of like size, lettering, and age. However, the only other container holding bones is lettered with 'Cathy,' a variation of the name 'Kate.' The other burial cups bear the names Arnold and Jack. Now, statistically this is completely amazing. This has got to be the burial site of James Cameron! Particularly since a book his father wrote, called the Acts of Phillip, gives added creedance to this scenario."

Peterson's discovery comes on the heels of the controversial book entitled The DiCaprio Code. This work posits that the film "Titanic" holds secrets pointing to Kate Winslet as an early wife of Cameron. It also states that the true mastermind behind the supposed works of Cameron is the grand-daughter of James and Kate.

But are these really the bones of James Cameron? There are many who have doubts surrounding Peterson's theories.

"First of all," says archaeologist Joshua Josephs, "The Cameron family is rich. Why would James be entombed in a styrofoam cup with lettering in Sharpie ink? Secondly, Cameron lived in California at the time. You're telling me that he would be buried in styrofoam in the ground, and the EPA wouldn't have found out about it? Besides, the lettering may not even say 'James' after all. It looks more like 'Jones.'"

Other skeptics cite Cameron's popularity and wonder why, if he were truly dead, people would not have noticed for over 20 years. "James has produced many very powerful movies," says John Zebedee, a close friend and co-worker. "I knew him from the beginning. What we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at and touched with our hands, concerning the genius of James-- all I can say is that he is alive and well."

Doc Lukas, Cameron's bookkeeper, is in the process of writing a defense of Cameron's true identity over against Peterson's claims. Lukas says, "Inasmuch as many have undertaken to compile an account of the things accomplished among us, just as they were handed down to us by those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses and servants of Hollywood, it seemed fitting for me as well, having investigated everything carefully from the beginning, to write it out for you in consecutive order."

The book, which will document Cameron's life, will be published by Filmophilus Press sometime in May. Lukas also plans to write a book called the Acts of the Directors, in which he will detail the impact Cameron has had on Hollywood, America, and the world.

Are these really the tombs of James Cameron and his family? Or, could Marie Peterson be banking on the popularity of The DiCaprio Code controversy? She says no, that she is just a librarian reporting facts, and that she is convinced that the story she tells is the truth.

Monday, February 26, 2007

The World of Titanic and Terminator Fans is About to Change!

LOUISVILLE- Uberlibrarian Marie Peterson has just announced that she has found conclusive evidence that James Cameron holds a massive secret. "This could possibly shake the world of Titanic and Terminator fans everywhere, or at least change the way they view those movies," says Peterson. "I have the proof that James Cameron is no longer alive but in fact has been dead since 1980!" Photos will be revealed tomorrow at noon on her blog. "Remember," she says, "I am not a director, I am not an archaeologist, I am just a librarian."

Friday, February 09, 2007

One of THOSE emails!

My very kind, sweet, and thoughtful friend Carla sent me one of those emails that exemplify what lunch breaks were made for ;)

If I can get the Rusted One to put down his Venti Cinnamon Dolce Latte for a minute, I will tag him.

1. What is your occupation?
Uberlibrarian, channel rat

2. What color are your socks right now?
Black, warm, winter socks-- good for 20 degree weather!

3. What are you listening to right now?
Ummm, silence?

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
A mug of white chocolate almond hot chocolate :)

5. Can you drive a stick shift?

6. When is your birthday, and how old will you be on that day, this year?
Today, 27.

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My voicemail? Does that count? Seriously, my mom.

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
No, I got this from my sworn enemy...

9. How many states have you lived in?
One- Kentucky

10. Favorite Drink?
Sweet tea

11. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Is Jeopardy considered a sport? (I'm such a nerd) I like to play croquet. Now that's fun.

12. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Nope, and I don't think I ever will.

13. Pets?
Not currently. Growing up, I had fish, turtles, hamsters, guinea pigs, and rabbits.

14. Favorite Food?
Hmmm, do I have to choose? Mexican and Greek are my favorites, with Italian and Cajun close behind. I also love my Mamaw's chicken and dumplings!

15. What was the last movie you watched?
The Devil Wears Prada

16. Favorite day of the year?

17. What do you do to vent anger?
Pray, take a walk, recite Scripture. Of course, my flesh many times wants to react wrongly.

18. What was your favorite toy as a child?
When I was real little, I had this play organ thing that had little muppet heads that would open their mouths when I pressed the buttons. My parents definitely remember me playing it... I also had a tape recorder that I loved to record stuff on. My sister, cousins, and I would come up with skits and songs and audio treasure hunts!

19. What is your favorite season?
Season 6 of 24. Oh.... Spring.

20. Hugs or kisses?
Hugs, from the appropriate people. I don't want to be hugged by, say, Jack Bauer.

21. Cherries or blueberries?
Do I have to choose? Can I have blackberries too, and can you put them all in a cobbler?

22. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?
No, just blog.

23. Who is most likely to respond?

24. Who is least likely to respond?
Kletois from #pros, since he doesn't have a blog (although he should). Oh, and President Bush probably won't respond either.

25. Living arrangements?
One-bedroom condo on the bus route and within walking distance to Walmart grocery, Target, Kroger, and good places to eat. The Lord has greatly blessed me.

26. When was the last time you cried?
The last time I cried, it was actually from laughter, and it was Wednesday with my friend Pam from church.

27. What is on the floor of your closet?
Carpet :) Which closet? Are you trying to see if I have skeletons in there or something?

28. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to?
Hmmm, that really doesn't count for blogs. But Sharyne Hunt, who used to work at the SBTS library, reads my blog.

29. What did you do last night?
Chatted in #pros, talked on the phone with the Irrational FlameGurl, looked up flights to Seattle for the A&O Apologetics Cruise in October

30. Favorite smells?
I actually can't smell very well (yes, I said "I don't smell good" once...), but thankfully it doesn't affect my ability to taste things (whether or not one thinks I have good taste is another matter...)

31. What inspires you?
OK I am cheating and using Carla's spot-on answer: People with Godly, humble, honest character. Beautiful songs sung by beautiful voices. People with a killer sense of humor. And very cool sayings on t-shirts. No, I'm not kidding.

32. What are you afraid of?
Again, Carla's answer is so true: Hearing "depart from me, I never knew you." On a lighter note, I used to be afraid of dogs, revolving doors, and deep water, but not so much anymore.

33. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
Yes, please! Actually, I would want a buffalo burger with cheddar cheese, bacon, and jalepenos!

34. Favorite dog breed?

35. Number?
Huh? Ummm I don't think I want to put that on my blog :P

36. How many years at your current job?

37. Favorite day of the week?
The Lord's Day

38. Where would you like to retire?
Retire? Me? No, probably if I can retire, I might just stay here in Louisville.

39. Favorite Movie?
"Luther" or "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"

40. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery?
Ridden horses and a camel, yes; man made heavy machinery, no.

41. What are your plans for today?
Go to Ferd Grisanti's for an excellent Italian dinner with my family.

42. Are you actually going to answer all these and send them back to the person who sent them to you?
No, but she will see them on my blog!

Okay, now it's your turn. If you don't send these back, Joel Osteen will move into your basement and smile at you every time you go down there to do laundry. It's true, it happened to my cousin's sister-in-law's best friend's uncle. He's now blind and suffering from really bad theology. Poor guy.